This one comes from MSNBC and could possibly be useful for some roleplays.
Don’t choke“On a first date once, we were eating chips and salsa as an appetizer. He was telling some joke, and when I laughed at the punchline, I inhaled the chip a bit too hard and it lodged in my throat: Suddenly, I couldn’t breathe at all! There was salsa pouring out of my mouth, and I was doing that choking signal to him. So he came around and started beating on my back. After a few scary seconds, the chip finally dislodged itself. I don’t even want to think about what I looked like at that moment, all stained with salsa. It took me the whole night of apologizing to feel comfortable around him.”
—Stephanie, Atlanta, GA
Buzz kill
“One time I agreed to go to a haunted house for Halloween with a guy, despite the fact that I hate haunted houses. No matter how cheesy, I get irrationally afraid. This one was set up in the woods in Louisiana. It wasn't bad at first: The requisite bowls of stuff you put your hand in, the rocking chair with a witch rocking in it who lunges at you. Then, just when I thought we were coming out of the woods, I heard the rip-start of a chainsaw and ‘Jason’ from Friday the 13th, hockey mask and all, comes tearing toward us. I freaked. And I mean freaked! I started running, full speed, through the woods, shrieking like a wounded animal. I could hear my date saying, ‘It's OK,’ but I kept running until I hit the parking lot... and a concrete parking bumper. I tripped, then skidded on my face and hands. It was terrible. We spent the rest of the evening picking gravel out of my skin.”
—Molly, Chicago, IL
Nice catch—not
“I was dating this guy and it was the first time I was meeting his family, so I was really trying to fit in. So when a game of football on the beach nearby started up, I jumped into the game even though I’m not really into sports. How hard could it be? Well, let’s just say I was terrible. I missed throw after throw. When my guy made a toss in my direction, I attempted to redeem myself with a brilliant catch—but instead felt the ball completely jam my fingers. Not wanting to appear weak, I tried to shake it off. But then we moved on to tennis. Not only was I terrible at that too, every time the ball hit my racquet, I felt excruciating pain. Finally my fingers got so swollen, I had to go to the hospital, where we discovered I’d shattered the bones in my fingers! It was really embarrassing to have my souvenir of the big date be a cast up to my elbow.”
—Regina, Fairfax, VA
Double-date
“I was pals with this guy Chris, and it seemed our friendship might be developing into something more. So we decided to have an actual date, and I invited him to a dance concert. But when I arrived, Chris showed up…with a date. He’d come straight from yoga and had brought along his instructor, who also thought he was on a date with Chris. When the instructor and I finally put the pieces together, we tried competing for Chris’ attention. I mean, that’s just plain weird! But the best part? By the end of the night, the instructor and I became friends and had a better time than Chris did.”
—Lance, New York, NY
Let ‘er rip
“I felt like a sexy, powerful woman as I pushed my date down on the couch and gave him a passion-fueled stare. I felt sexy and powerful, too, when I straddled him to plant a big kiss on him. Can't say I felt particularly sexy or powerful, though, when my pants split right down the middle.”
—Caroline, Los Angeles, CA
Drool is not cool
“I went to Philly for the weekend to see an old friend. We’d kept in touch and agreed to meet to see if maybe there was something more there. But, while we were eating brunch I ‘gleeked’ a stream of saliva into his orange juice while telling a story. It was so embarrassing. Adding insult to injury, he said, ‘Well, at least I can say I swapped spit with Carrie this weekend!’ Believe me, that was the only spit-swapping we did!”
—Carrie, Nashville, TN
Loves me not
“I became friends with this adorable guy who was very affectionate, always taking me out to dinner or on long romantic walks. We even talked about future plans, like how the next summer we hoped to have picnics, play frisbee, the works. I was so sure he loved me. He even said at one point, ‘Sorry, I just get kind of nervous because I'm trying to impress you.’ Finally after many outings, I decided to go for it and leaned in for a kiss. Well, he was quite surprised and said ‘Sweetie, I thought you knew: I’m gay.’ I was so mortified. Fortunately our friendship survived, but I definitely had to have my gay-dar adjusted.”
—Jenny, New York, NY
Rebounds and drinking don’t mix
“I was on one of my first dates after being dumped and was so nervous I decided to cope by drinking... a lot. By the end of the night, I was completely wasted, so when the guy I was out with suggested he give me a piggyback ride right at the bar, I jumped on his back, causing us both to crash to the floor! It took several bystanders to help us to our feet. Then, staggering back to the car for my ride home, I managed to stumble into two cars, setting off their alarms. When I finally got in his car, I was sick all over the dashboard. It was then I realized that I might need a little more time to ‘bounce back’ from my breakup."
—Erica, London, UK
And the winner is...
This just tells you how hard it is to be single nowadays. This was on the "Tonight Show" with Jay Leno.
Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!
Marilyn said, "It was midwinter.. snowing and quite cold... and the guy had taken her skiing at Lake Arrowhead. It was a day trip (no overnight). No, not Marilyn. They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before.
The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her pee beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.
They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. Unfortunately, in the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.
Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor she answered her date's concerns about "what was taking so long" with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and needed some assistance!"
He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma.
Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free so, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.
As for the Tonight Show... she took the prize hands down .or perhaps that should be "pants down." And you thought your first date was embarrassing!
This gives a whole new meaning to being "pissed off".
Oh, and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.
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